I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
it's not cheating when I paid for it
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
