All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
