Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
