Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
