doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
