Your face is a jimmy john
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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