He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
