awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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