So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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