Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You're like the curious george of whores
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
