im drinking this country out of the recession.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
this is an emotional support booty call
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
