Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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