Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
