i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize