i don't plan on having that self control this summer
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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