Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
