Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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