There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Randomize