Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
