I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
My feet surprised me
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
