I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
