This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
