I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
