so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
he just fucked me for my cheese..
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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