shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
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