he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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