You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm passing your future prison.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
