dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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