we have officially lost it.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize