Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Randomize
