Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Randomize
