Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
