I wannas sexs uuuuu
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
When did we convert life to cartoon?
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
