He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
