That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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