those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
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