u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
