It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
