I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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