Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
