That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
