Will you blow on my dice?
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
