you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
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