whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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