Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
