I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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