You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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