She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
