yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
