We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I'm getting married
To pizza
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I would ride that face into the sunset
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
