Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
