Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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