Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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