he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
