I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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