Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
This toilet bowl is my home.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
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