He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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