can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
