so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
