Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
