sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
