Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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