the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
