If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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