i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I'm having to shit out rocks
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