seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
You need a sexual gate keeper
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
